


You Aren't Atlas

by brisingr12343



Category: USWNT - Fandom, Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F, I'm still not over it, It still hurts to think about so here's a slightly angsty, but fluffy one shot, only took me like a year to write again
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-14
Updated: 2016-08-14
Packaged: 2018-08-08 16:19:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7764673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brisingr12343/pseuds/brisingr12343
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The product of me needing to put my emotions into something other than ranting about the Sweden game. I hope you guys enjoy!</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Aren't Atlas

The locker room had been a mess. Christen didn’t want to cry while she was still under the scrutiny of the fans in the stadium but as soon as she and the rest of the team made it inside the locker room the dam broke. Gut wrenching sobs were shaking her small frame. Alex, only a few steps away from the green-eyed forward, began to shed her own tears and made a move to hug Christen. Soon after Julie joined in, then Crystal, Kelley, Morgan, the entire team was there, even Carli and Hope had joined in. It was a gigantic jumble of blubbering soccer players.

They had eventually broken the team hug to freshen up and get ready to leave, but not before offering the Palos Verdes native more words of reassurance, love, and encouragement.

Christen had miraculously kept her tears to a minimum while she was changing and managed to keep it together throughout the bus ride back to the hotel, though she nearly broke down again when Tobin sat down next to her and squeezed her hand. No words needed to be exchanged then. The two understood that they both needed time to sort through their own thoughts for the time being.

When the team arrived at the hotel Jill had tried to address the team but no one was in the mood to listen to her and tuned out most of her speech. The team was exhausted, heartbroken, and just done with their coach.

Christen’s head was still swirling with her guilt and resentment for what could have been.

Julie, knowing full well how it felt to be in her position, never left her side. The blonde wordlessly offered her full support to her teammate for club and country. A notion Christen was extremely grateful for.

The two got changed into more comfortable clothes and quietly sat together, Julie’s head resting on Christen’s shoulder as they both soaked in the comfortable silence.

Unfortunately that silence didn’t last long as not even five minutes later the defender’s phone began ringing, Zach’s face appearing on the screen.

The blonde was hesitant to leave her side but a small smile from the forward was all the encouragement she needed to answer it and headed outside, leaving Christen alone with her thoughts once again.

She flopped onto her bed and fought the urge to scream into her pillow. Christen couldn’t help but keep replaying the PKs in her head.

Everything she could have done differently, everywhere she went wrong, everything she couldn’t do, it was all eating at her subconscious. She threw her hands over her face and let out a shaky breath.

“The one kick that’s mattered the most in your career and you blow it,” she mumbled to herself.

“Good job Christen,” the forward muttered darkly.

A knock on the door interrupted her mental distress.

With a huff, she got up from the bed and went to open the door, expecting her roommate who most likely forgot her room key.

She was surprised to find her girlfriend standing outside, a sad smile gracing her face. Tobin had changed out of her sweatpants and USA travel shirt, now wearing a plain red t-shirt and shorts.

A rush of emotion sweeps over Christen and before she knows it she’s sobbing all over again. Tobin immediately steps forward to engulf her in a hug.

From the corner of her eye, Tobin sees Kelley step out into the hallway and spot the two of them. The converted outside back opens her mouth to say something but a shake of Tobin’s head causes her to merely sigh in understanding.

Christen is still a sobbing, incoherent mess in her arms so Tobin picks up her girlfriend, closing the door with her foot, and gingerly sits them down on the girl’s bed.

They stay that way for a while. Tobin holding the forward close, whispering comforting words into her ear, and Christen clutching Tobin’s shirt tightly.

After a few more minutes, Christen’s sobs began to subside and with some coaxing from her girlfriend, finally lifted her head up to meet the midfielder’s worried gaze.

“There’s that beautiful face,” Tobin murmured before kissing her forehead gently.

Christen shook her head slightly and burrowed her head into the crook of the older woman’s neck.

“I couldn’t do it,” she sniffed, her voice slightly muffled and hoarse from crying all afternoon. “I let you all down.”

Tobin felt Christen begin to cry again and her heart broke all over again at her girlfriend’s admission.

The midfielder couldn’t help but cry with her for a few moments before gently prying Christen away from her, so she could speak to the younger woman properly.

“Hey, you didn’t let any of us down!” Tobin told her firmly.

Christen refused to meet her gaze, merely sighing.

“Yes I did, you guys were counting on me and I couldn’t even get my shot on frame,” she croaked bitterly.

“Babe, please look at me,” Tobin pleaded.

Reluctantly, green met golden brown.

Both of them were red from crying but Tobin wore a reassuring smile regardless.

“Penalties are never a guarantee and even the best of us miss. You were barely played the entire tournament and you _still_ managed to make a difference for us as soon as you were subbed in,” she pressed another kiss onto the side of the forward’s head before continuing. “You aren’t Atlas, you can’t hold the weight of the world on your shoulders alone. You’re human, and we’ll be here to bear that weight with you. Today was a team effort and we should have put the game away without going into overtime anyways. You aren’t the reason we lost. No, we lost because our game plan reached its expiration date a long time ago.”

Christen was crying even harder now, but for a completely different reason.

Tobin wiped away some of her tears and managed another smile before finishing her speech.

“You _deserve_ to be here. You are an _amazing_ player. You are an _incredible_ person. Don’t let this set you back, okay? This is going to hurt for a while, but we’re going to be back for the next World Cup, and you are going to show everyone doubting you that they’re _dead_ wrong.”

Christen’s tears were beginning to fall more slowly, a small smile, the first she’s had since the game, was slowly growing.

“I love you,” she murmured.

Christen leaned into her girlfriend and embraced her tightly, pulling away slightly to kiss the midfielder properly.

“I love you too,” Tobin smiled, fully showing off the radiant smile that Christen had fallen for from the beginning.

The two shifted from their sitting position on the bed and slipped under the covers. Christen tucked herself into her girlfriend’s toned arms and sighed as Tobin pulled her even closer. For the first time that day she felt like she could finally breathe.

“Thank you,” the forward mumbled.

She felt the midfielder press a chaste kiss onto her forehead, before resting her cheek on top of Christen’s head.

“You don’t need to thank me. I’ll always be here for you no matter what okay? _Always_.”

“I know. That’s why you’re you, and that’s why I love you so much,” Christen revealed.

“Damn, so you’re telling me you don’t love me for my good looks?” the older woman joked.

Christen giggled.

“Sorry, but that’s my department,” she quipped playfully.

The forward could practically feel her girlfriend pout. Lifting her head up she pressed a kiss on to Tobin’s pouting lips, effectively wiping it off and chuckling when they broke apart.

“You’re not wrong,” Tobin beamed.

This elicited an actual laugh from Christen and earned Tobin another brief kiss before she wrapped her arms around the midfielder and closed her eyes, falling asleep to Tobin gently stroking her hair.

Ten minutes later, Julie walked back into the room with her phone in hand and nearly ‘aw-ed’ out loud before snapping a picture of the two cuddled up together and sending it to Christen.

**Author's Note:**

> Just a reminder to keep supporting our girls and women's soccer in general! We can't let this loss affect the progress we've made in the fight for equality!
> 
> Sorry for any mistakes!


End file.
